"For the moments we feel faint"

by Pastor Ben Dolby

I have a confession to make. The title of my devotional reflection for August is inspired by a simple yet significant song I discovered in a challenging time of my college years. An American rock band named Relient K had a song entitled, “For The Moments I Feel Faint” from their 2001 album, The Anatomy of Tongue and Cheek.

Please, let me assure you that I am not here to bore you with a personal nostalgic trip down memory lane. I know there is something here, rooted in God’s Word, to equip you for moments you feel faint.

Here’s the second part of my confession: I am feeling anything but strong as the summer is already more than half over. I am finding myself feeling mentally overwhelmed, spiritually drained, and physically faint…and I am not yet dealing with the humidity of New Orleans on our youth group’s trip to the Youth Gathering. As I struggle to accomplish some pertinent tasks in this beautiful and challenging job as a pastor, I am trying to muster up some “Samwise Gamgee” hopefulness by my own strength…and the ugly truth is I have nothing left in the proverbial tank.

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit led me away from my office desk and into the Sanctuary for some time in prayer and quiet. Here at the start of a new week I was learning a common lesson again: I need God to carry me right now. I am unable to carry myself.

Then I distinctly remembered that Relient K song I mentioned above. Here are some of the lyrics and you are welcome to go give it a listen. I believe it is a simple and powerful psalm of some modern day Christian musicians.

“Am I at the point of no improvement? What of the death I still dwell in?

I try to excel, but I feel no movement. Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?”

A raw reflection and a repentant recognition of one’s cry for outside intervention. In many ways, it reminds me of the question put forth to Esther by her fellow Jew, Mordecai, And they told Mordecai what Esther had said. Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, “Do not think to yourself that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” – Esther 4:12-14

First, it is important to not take this passage out of context. It can be incredibly tempting to misapply this as some personal motivational motto, but the accurate interpretation and application is that this serves as a reminder of God putting us (calling us?) into scenarios and situations for his purpose, and at the heart of it all, God is at work for our benefit.

One of the fascinating facts about the book of Esther is the lack of any over reference to God’s presence and power in the entire book. These verses are the closest thing in all of Esther to such an overt reference! The context God provides us is Mordecai seeing how God is directing the affairs so that his people might be saved from destruction.

The tie-in to my present day scenario is this: I am fearful that I am feeling faint as I face the present challenges before me. I am feeling unprepared in my heart and mind to responsibly fulfill the important duties before me concerning the Youth Gathering, VBS, preparing for important Bible Studies in the fall, and time of rest with my family. This is why the opening verse of that Relient K song resonates with me 24 years after it resonated with me during my college year struggles.

Here is the chorus as it echoes the promises of God’s Word:

“Never underestimate my Jesus. You’re telling me that there’s no hope. I’m telling you you’re wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus. When the world around you crumbles, He will be strong, He will be strong.”

Important note here, I do not own Jesus nor does he belong only to me. I rejoice over this artist’s expression that God draws near to us as his precious, priceless Creation and continuously breathes life into our relationship with him.

A few more lyrics from that same song as I pray you are encouraged by their being inspired by God’s Holy Word:

“I throw up my hands, ‘Oh, the impossibilities’ … Frustrated and tired, where do I go from here? Now I’m searching for the confidence I’ve lost so willingly, Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear.”

Do not jump to an incorrect conclusion and futile action in that final sentence! We cannot overcome these obstacles on our own. Like Mordecai and Esther, we are called to see with the eyes of faith, receive through the gift of faith, that God is directing the affairs of this world to take care of us – not to destroy or crush us, but to direct us back to seeking him for the moments (decades?!) we feel faint. Relient K lyrics one more time…

“I think I can't, I think I can't; But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't; But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands.

Never underestimate my Jesus. You’re telling me that there’s no hope. I’m telling you you’re wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus. When the world around you crumbles, He will be strong, He will be strong.”

May God bless you and be your strength, especially when you feel faint. Who knows whether you have not come to this time, to see God at work and how God is working for your sake, in such a time as this? Alleluia and Amen!

In Christ,

Pastor Dolby